Long post...you've been warned
Not feeling rather witty, creative or interesting in the least, so just a few random tidbits.
Connecticut was beautiful. Everytime I fly to the East Coast (I cover MA, NH, RI and CT as my recruiting territories) I am amazed at how unassuming and provincial it seems compared to here. The twin-charms of antiquity and blue-collar ethos bleeds so freely from its pores that big cities like Hartford, Boston and Providence seem tiny and unassuming in comparison to the cold structures of steel, stucco and mirrored glass that layer the landscape of So. Cal. Maybe its just the old soul that these cities posess, I dunno. I know east coasters may have a different take, but that's just this L.A. boy's perspective, take it or leave it.
Making the 45 minute drive from Hartford to New Haven I took the opportunity to get lost in the scenery. Cities burst out of great thatches of rolling forest covered hills. You can drive for miles and see nary a billboard or a cookie-cutter housing tract. Usually you have to drive 1 to 2 hours down here in So Cal before you get a break from that sort of mish mash.
Hey during the trip I picked me up a stalker. So that was neat. Suffice it to say that the lady wanted the job BAD...real BAD...no I mean REEEEEEEAL BAD. I mean tracking me down and calling my hotel room at 6 AM in the friggin' morning to beg for a job BAD.
That's right you heard me, I said it. This individual called my hotel room at 6 AM in the morning the day of the job fair. Keep in mind my PST-wired body was running at 3 AM speed and therefore not a single coherent thought was running through my head. She was on the phone begging for a job and the only thing I could think of to say was "DON'T TOUCH ME LUCKY CHARMS". As it was, when it came my turn to speak, I told her to meet me at the job fair and we would have an interview.
Well she showed up, we sat down to the interview and spent the next few minutes talking about how screwed up her personal life life was and why this job would make it all better. As moved as I was by her personal turmoil and her obvious mental illness, I told her that because of her lack of experience this may not be the best job for her at this time.
I know, it's OK, you can say it..."STOOOOOOOOOOPID".
Well as it turned out, the lady hung around the job fair for a half an hour after her interview talking to the other candidates all of whom glanced at me nervously for rescue. Eventually though, she left. The rest of the job fair was hardly what you would call a success. Maybe all of 13 people turned out, out of which maybe 3 or 4 were even remotely qualified for the position. The last hour of the job fair was cancelled due to the 2 hour evacuation of the hotel due to a chemical spill in the lobby. Jeez what a day.
As I lay sleeping soundly in my bed the next morning, guess who greeted me with another 6 A.M. call? More begging ensued while the only response I coudld think of was to scream loudly into the phone "CONJUNCTION JUNCTION, WHAT'S YOUR FUNCTION?". When it came my turn to speak, this time I told her that I would speak to my manager about interviewing her.
It was one of those slow motion, out of body moments where you can sense your spirit, mind and body stare in incredulity at the ineffable stupidity of the mouth as it states it's nonsense.
I thought that this would satisfy her and buy me a few more hours of sleep. I was wrong. An hour later SHE CALLED AGAIN!!! This time I basically picked up the phone and told (yelled at) her to stop calling me, that calling me so early was unprofessional and rude (duh). She mumbled out a weak OK and I slammed the phone down. This time I called the front desk to ensure no more calls would go through.
Later that day, I'm sitting in my Hartford branch and guess who calls. "Rob, it's XXXX on the line for you". The whole branch looks at me and groans. It turns out that she's been pestering them all week for a job, giving them the same sob story as well. This time I calmly told her that I had spoke to my manager about her (lie) that he wanted to think about it (lie) and that I would call her when he makes a decision (when I'm far, far the hell away from you).
That night as I went back to my hotel, I ran like my ass was on fire from the parking lot to the elevator in the lobby. I know this might sound weird but being a movie and drama geek I tend to hear soundtracks in my mind when tense situations occur. This time the opening theme of "Psycho" was going through my mind as I raced up to my hotel room. When I got in I checked the closets, shower and under my bed. even though it was all clear, I still kept looking over my shoulder, half expecting her to jump out of nowhere like Leatherface screaming "Time to pay the fiddler" while starting up a chainsaw.
Yeah, I have my issues too...
Well dear reader as you can tell by this long, meandering post (by which now you are thankfully at the end), I made it out of CT alive. Oh and I did end up calling her, 3000 blissful miles away, and told her that unfortunately the answer still was no. She calmly thanked me for my time and hung up. So an uneventful end to an eventful experience. I truly do hope she gets help and that she finds a job that matches her skills, but mostly the "getting help" part.
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8 comments:
At least she was in her 50's. I would've been more worried if she was in her 20's. Crazy Lady! I'm glad to have you back home, safe and sound.
Man, Bob, I was LOL, and gonna have your father-in-law read your discourse. I love how you tell us what you're thinking, but the other person don't know it.
It's ironic that mom thinks your writing is so funny, being that most of these very same thoughts occur in your dealings with her as well. Food for thought.
Bryan, if Bob wants to say what he thinks about his mother-in-law, I hope he uses a fictious name.
Woah, woah, woah, I ain't said nothin' about nobody's mother in law...don't pull me into the swirling void guys.
Kandy- The crazies flock to all if us!
Bry - Nice of you to throw Bob under the bus like that!
Bob - Nice rebound! Paddle away!
Hey, that's what I'm here for. Bob knows how to swim. I am acting like that typical jerk dad who teaches his kids how to swim by throwing them in the deep end. Bob, you did well, this doesn't seem to be your first time.
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