Is that how the song goes? I'm not sure. For the past seven days I've been sitting at home feeling pretty useless waiting for a call from my old boss to let me know what branch I should go to to start my new career as a loan officer. As many know, I have been planning to move from my position as a recruiter to a LO for some time now...apparently for about the same amount of time the uppity-ups at my former/current employer have been discussing cutbacks. Anyway long story short - my position as a recruiter was eliminated just as I was about to make the jump, which wouldn't be a big deal execpt for the fact that they laid off 20% of the loan officers in the company at the same time...good times.
So I was called into the room and thanked for my year and a half of service and then given a box and a nice little severance package. Afterwards I was told by my boss that she had talked to HR about me and that though it may not be at the original location, I would still have the LO position waiting for me on Monday.
That was seven days ago with still no word as to where I'll be come Monday.
As for my future, I know that I will be OK, God will provide and he has blessed me with a network of buddies in recruiting who have been networking for me diligently and passing my resume around to various companies (I have one interview on Monday). It's amazing what having a recruiting position will do for the ol' confidence when it comes time to interview for a job. Give me a couple days to prepare and I can ace most interviews.
Though there are many positives about this situation (severance package which gives me time to explore my options, time to prepare for the baby, a chance to spend much-needed time with my family and aid in the homeschooling), there lies the kernel of disatisfaction and wounded pride. Though there were recruiters who were laid off who posessed skillz superior to mine, I still wonder...why me? Was it because I was an expedient choice with my move to the branch as sufficient reason? Was it because they eliminated most of the branches I recruited for?
...or was it because I just wasn't good enough?
When I asked they gave me an evasive asnwer which led me to consider this third option more than I'd have liked. I had always considered my success in recruiting as the source of the confidence I had in my ability to sell and work under a bonus/commission structure and therefore make the move to LO. What if I've been kidding myself in trying to make this move.
Thankfully, my confidence in my strengths outweigh these fleeting moments of doubt. God has also put a burning in my heart to make this transition for some time now, while that's not foolproof (Jer. 17:5-10), I'm still taking that as a sign that I'm moving in the right direction.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
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